My fellow Austrians, welcome to OPEC
Is anyone really surprised that George Bush managed to embarrass himself once again at APEC, thanking "Austria" for hosting "OPEC" (Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries)? Really what is the difference between APEC and OPEC? Or Austria and Australia? Just a few letters and half the world, but who cares! OK, its a mix up that would earn any student an F in politics or geography (or both), but if you are the "leader of the free world" you don't need to know where you are or what meeting you are attending.
Everyone knows that coherent expression is not George Bush's strong point (I'm not sure he has a strong point, but lets not go there). In fact his mangling of the English language is so severe that it required a new word to describe it - Bushisms. Other than redefining the meaning of "weapons of mass destruction", this addition to the English lexicon may be Bush's only linguistic contribution (If anyone fancies a laugh - Jacob Weisberg keeps a wonderful updated collection of "The Complete Bushisms").
Geography is not Bush's strong point either. He is famous for believing that Africa and Europe are nations and that Jordan is a Gulf Coast country. He was known to exclaim "Wow, Brazil is big" upon being shown a map, could not tell the difference between the Balkans and the Baltic, was apparently surprised that Germany is in fact a democracy or that Wales is a country. It's not just international geography either - he confused Michigan and Canada, Florida and Texas (which he believed is close to California) and apparently forgot that Canada and Mexico do not share a border, for the reason that they are separated by the territory of the USA. Oh yes, and he variously believed himself to be a Brit or British children to be "young Americans" (For more geographical amusement see Dubyaspeak)
It is actually frightening that a guy who doesn't have enough brain function to walk and talk at the same time is the most powerful man in the world. The only comfort is that his first term in office was not a function of popular preference, but of the political split on the US Supreme Court, but even so, the fact that the village idiot can become the president of the USA says a great deal about the political system of that country (anyone notice how family members or descendants of previous presidents do quite well in getting themselves elected?)
But while we laugh at Bush's obvious idiocy, we should all hope that Bush doesn't decide to go to war with Austria and bomb the hell out of Australia instead.
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