Is anyone really surprised that George Bush managed to embarrass himself once again at APEC, thanking "Austria" for hosting "OPEC" (Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries)? Really what is the difference between APEC and OPEC? Or Austria and Australia? Just a few letters and half the world, but who cares! OK, its a mix up that would earn any student an F in politics or geography (or both), but if you are the "leader of the free world" you don't need to know where you are or what meeting you are attending.
Everyone knows that coherent expression is not George Bush's strong point (I'm not sure he has a strong point, but lets not go there). In fact his mangling of the English language is so severe that it required a new word to describe it - Bushisms. Other than redefining the meaning of "weapons of mass destruction", this addition to the English lexicon may be Bush's only linguistic contribution (If anyone fancies a laugh - Jacob Weisberg keeps a wonderful updated collection of "The Complete Bushisms").
Geography is not Bush's strong point either. He is famous for believing that Africa and Europe are nations and that Jordan is a Gulf Coast country. He was known to exclaim "Wow, Brazil is big" upon being shown a map, could not tell the difference between the Balkans and the Baltic, was apparently surprised that Germany is in fact a democracy or that Wales is a country. It's not just international geography either - he confused Michigan and Canada, Florida and Texas (which he believed is close to California) and apparently forgot that Canada and Mexico do not share a border, for the reason that they are separated by the territory of the USA. Oh yes, and he variously believed himself to be a Brit or British children to be "young Americans" (For more geographical amusement see Dubyaspeak)
It is actually frightening that a guy who doesn't have enough brain function to walk and talk at the same time is the most powerful man in the world. The only comfort is that his first term in office was not a function of popular preference, but of the political split on the US Supreme Court, but even so, the fact that the village idiot can become the president of the USA says a great deal about the political system of that country (anyone notice how family members or descendants of previous presidents do quite well in getting themselves elected?)
But while we laugh at Bush's obvious idiocy, we should all hope that Bush doesn't decide to go to war with Austria and bomb the hell out of Australia instead.
Well, the authorities have certainly proven the value of locking down Sydney for APEC! The Chaser team managed to get a motorcade into the APEC protected zone, through two checkpoints and parked the motorcade in the vicinity of Bush's hotel prior to being arrested for the horrendous crime of playing a joke and not hurting anyone. Oh yeah, and one of them was dressed in a rather conspicuous outfit of Osama Bin Laden.
No matter how much the authorities bleat that the eventual arrest of the Chaser team proves that APEC security is working, one can't help but suspect that if terrorists, armed with explosives and suicidal intent, rather than with video cameras and a daring sense of humour, managed to get as far as the intrepid team of comedians, they would wreak substantial damage well before being apprehended. This is not exactly an illustration of well-functioning security.
One can be forgiven for questioning the lock down of Sydney, if the security can be so easily penetrated by a team which includes a Bin Laden impersonator. One can also be forgiven for questioning the legitimacy of arresting and charging the Chaser team for entering protected zones. It seems that humour is the last thing that APEC security should be concerned about.
If the Howard government wasn't spending insane amounts of taxpayer money on advertising itself, some of its ads could be considered funny. Not because they are by their nature humorous, but because they are utterly idiotic.
Consider this ad:
That telephone pole got in the way when I was taking the photo, but the left part of the ad reads "Who really pulls Labor's strings." Let's put aside such reasonable thoughts as why leading employee organisations is a negative thing and forget the fact that they may have been union leaders but surely not union bosses.
Does this ad remind you of something? Remember that television ad about genital herpes? The one that has little red silhouettes of men and women illustrating that "one in eight Australians have genital herpes"? I tried to find a screenshot of the ad, but no success so far, so you'll have to picture it in your head. To make the task easier - just look at the government's ad - those silhouettes look very similar!
Oh and to make it more amusing - this ad was just across the road from an advertisement for treatments to increase one's sexual function and boost one's sex life. How very appropriate.
How about this ad:
No doubt you would have seen these ads defacing many locations (public transport stops being most popular). This particular photo is from a tram stop shelter. As you can see it provides a wealth of information - a stone wall and a post it note saying "know where you stand" - almost as informative as the "know where you stand" television advertisements.
Well, if you consider the ad, it is hard to escape the conclusion that what it says is that you stand with your back to the wall (why else would there be a picture of a wall in the background?). That pretty much sums up what WorkChoices does to employees, but somehow I don't think that the government intended to be quite that honest!
That the government is spending billions of taxpayer dollars to advertise itself is a sign of a corrupt and unprincipled government. That their ads are this stupid must be a sign of desperation. I would have said that it was also a sign of incompetence, but to be fair, it is hard to advertise a product which has no merit.
I have taken myself off line for two days to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows before someone spoiled the plot for me. Doesn't sound like much, but its a lot of time for a computer addict. Anyway the book is now read - it is a bit like getting off a roller coaster ride - it is very fast paced, almost too fast, so that some of its magic and emotion gets lost in the furious pace. Not going to say another word so I don't inadvertently spoil the plot for anyone.
For some end of the weekend amusement - below is the third episode of Howard's search for a scapegoat video from Killerspudly
Take today's MX (ok, maybe it doesn't qualify as "media", but bear with me) - half the front page is occupied by a headline which screams "PM gun scare". Anyone expecting a juicy story about a foiled assassination attempt would have been disappointed.
The so-called scare involved a man who was in Launceston (where the PM wasn't) wanting to get a free flight to Sydney (where the PM also wasn't), while in possession not of a gun, but of various gun parts. He placed these parts on the counter and patiently waited until the police arrived without threatening anyone.
So how does this all add up to "PM in gun scare"?. Apparently the man said that he wanted to go to Sydney to see the PM. That was sufficient to create a headline screaming of gun scares. Fear not only wins elections, it also increases circulation of newspapers, so if it doesn't exist, it must be created, no matter how ludicrous and irresponsible the creation is.
A few weeks ago I posted a video made by "killerspud" about John Howard's search for a scapegoat for the next election. Now there's a second installment as the search continues.
Thanks to killerspud for his permission to use the video on this site. Hope you enjoy watching it.
For the last few weeks, when reading any online newspaper I just felt like shouting - get that stupid girl out of my face! Enough already - do we have to have those vacant-eyed photos and meaningless snippets about Paris Hilton every day? What's so damn interesting about a young idiot who behaved like a young idiot and landed in jail for a few days. It's not news, so stop pretending that it is.
Well, it appears that Mika Brzezinski, a presenter on MNSBC has also had enough and demonstrated her displeasure in a very public way - by ripping up, shredding and attempting to set fire to stories about Hilton, which supposed to have been presented as a lead news item of the day.
If anyone else is annoyed at the endless Hilton mania, here's the video - good for getting satisfaction by proxy.
For some weekend amusement of the political kind here's a great video about Howard's search for a scapegoat for the next election. Thanks very much to "killerspud" for his permission to use the video on this site. Enjoy.
As our politicians are engaged in increasingly fierce verbal jousting in parliament and out, I thought it may be amusing to have a "political insults" thread. Please add your favourite political insult in the comments and, if there are enough responses, I'll aggregate them into a post.
My current favourite is by Benjamin Disraeli which, although reputedly made in a social context, was aimed at his political arch-enemy, William Gladstone:
Gladstone to Disraeli: I predict sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease Disraeli to Gladstone: That all depends sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.
Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it. - Robert Frost
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