Sleazy clubs and sleazy politics
Newsflash, newsflash! Four years ago Kevin Rudd had bit too much to drink (ie got pissed) and visited a "gentleman's club" (ie a strip joint) in New York. How absolutely dreadful! It's not like every one of us overindulged in alcohol at some point in our lives and its not as though almost every Australian male visited a strip club at least once. Rudd's actions are so outrageous that they deserve to be splashed on the front pages of every paper in Australia for at least the next week, unless something really important happens - like Paris Hilton getting thrown in jail again.
But if such un-Australian conduct was not enough, Rudd has done something that must surely disqualify him from becoming Prime Minister and indeed from politics altogether - he admitted to his actions and took responsibility for them. What utter disgrace! Hard to believe that this man wants to be our next PM. Didn't he learn anything from Howard's 11 year long stint in power? Well, here's a quick lesson for you Kev:
The cardinal rule of political longevity is to never ever admit responsibility for anything, except low interest rates and protecting Australia from the combined dangers of children-throwing queue jumpers, SIM-card sharing terrorists and nasty unions who deceive people into believing that losing all their rights at work is somehow bad for them. This technique works best in conjunction with blaming someone else for any adverse occurrences, be it your own departments who conveniently failed to inform you, State premiers or terrorists forcing you into the strip club at gun point (the last one is particularly effective - the word "terrorism" causes most people to accept the most implausible excuses). If all else fails, try taking a page out of Tony Abbott's book and claim that the trip to the club was "off the record" and therefore didn't exist.
Of course, just because the Australian people have readily swallowed the sleazy politics of the Howard government for over a decade, doesn't mean that Rudd should be able to get away with a visit to a sleazy club, any more than Julia Gillard should get away with the offence of having an empty fruit bowl. It's just too much for the current political climate.
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